You look up at the sky,
Author: Nandini Prasad
Some people believe that a traumatic childhood often leads to the occurrence of strong, vivid but dull memories throughout the sufferer’s life, children with disturbing childhood experiences make horrible adults. If I choose to accept this theory, then I have no doubt or shame in accepting that I am an unstable individual. My therapist once said to me, “Gina, you can afford to live your life the way your mind allows you to. You don’t always have to swim, sometimes floating is enough,” Since then life has been easier, not happier because, for something to be happier, it first has to be happy. I often get such thoughts when I am walking around these empty streets, streets I grew up on.
There was a time in my life when I wondered if I was alone if I did not have enough people around me. I was looking for connections that had depth, that had nothing much to offer but emotional support, deep, intimate understanding, to make me believe in safer spaces where every conversation did not have to make sense, where accepting things was not necessary, where letting out the unwritten poetry of my thoughts would seem easy and comfortable, and that is when I understood that friendship is not a lesser form of love.