Autumn Is For Eloping

Graphic by Sumit Kumar

Miniscule specs of gasps trailed across, hinting none but the sheer quantity of apprehension scattering from the likes of Amber. No, she whimpered in agitation, dreading to feel the growl of liberty. This could not be happening for all one knows. No remedy possessed out there that could, again, possibly jerk off her indulgence in self-denial for an effortless case of rejection.

Steadily, she had realized very early on, earlier than the likes of many. Fragile yet resolved flicks, even the people surrounding her on a regular checkbook began to get a clue with the gradual passing stages. But Amber, without any verbal concern, took the resolution to keep that within herself. Although in any way, this was not a high-minded scenario nor was it a temporary solution.

Regardless of what may fall short, Amber had chosen not to speak up for her own selfish accord.

Nicole, being a month or so away before transferring to a foreign institution, had already confirmed the prompt suspicious malice whirling in the mind of Meian, that Amber was not behaving like herself or at least did not feel like so. Nicole being herself as Nicole, heedlessly thwacked the back of her teammate, immediately causing the said individual to fall unconscious on the clear, rough surface.

“Eh-?” Nicole paused, “Amber?”

That was the last thing Amber could have possibly heard before falling to her supposed demise. The cause of such was initially unknown. Even the thorough check posed nothing but “normal” on the piece of paper, eventually ruling on a simple fatigue.

Ever since Ash, whom she dearly cherished and was most certainly proud of, had left the country to secure a place in a team located in North Carolina, Amber began to feel rather lonely. Worry not, their team lacked neither weirdos nor strong comrades. For her, the last straw had taken off the drill when even Ryan, with whom she would rather be nothing but feisty, had gotten an invitation to another team.

Normally, this would facade no worry but one — Ryan had stated interest over considering that team’s invitation.

Yes, correctly that was the last straw to her questionable sanity. Amber, who rejected all possible probabilities for the pure sake of her selfish desires, was being left behind against all odds. Mind you, not by just any individual either.


It was in the midst of a heat; the sun was radiating twice as much as yesterday. Prominently, rays of light glared through those shallow empty spaces, causing annoyance to express out from her.


A voice whispered.

Never did it take long enough for the ladette, currently bed-rested, to realize. Either throw a racket up to her mind or you are nothing. Amber did not flinch out of desperation; out of not wanting to seem frightened up front.

Pathetic, Amber mentally bickered.

Amber’s movements happened to cause loud, audible frictions, even when she was merely tilting his head to the side. She called, “Ryan.”

Sure enough, Ryan as a whole stood there, his dull gaze bestowing nothing but a reminiscent of desolation. This caused a feeling of shame to stick a chord in the void of his companion, Amber.

Ryan huffed, “Unbelievable, really.”

The multiple stacks of saline were barely out of both their ranged sights. Even the scent of presumably salt got to the point of utter annoyance in Amber.

“You haven’t changed, have you Ryan?” Amber spoke in a subtle manner, gently showcasing a glimpse of her simper.

“Seems like you have.” Ryan reprimanded, “When did you start tripping over on the court like that?”

Amber burrowed her face, “No, you’re mean.”

Given the situation or no matter the stance they are in, both Amber and Ryan will never fail to get frustrated with each other’s shenanigans. This was the case for Amber, who would constantly get questionable thoughts regarding Ryan in general.

“My bad. I was simply just kidding,” Ryan rest assured. “Anyways, what did the report say?”

Amber suddenly perked up, her tired body quickly not failing to pick up the red beeping signal.

“They said I’m fine. See?” Amber removed the cloth hiding her left arm that was seemingly injected with a small tube, “I’m perfectly fine now!”

Amber puffed up, continuing by royally adding only to leer at Ryan, “Or are you worried about me, Ryan?”

Ryan shrugged away, extending to fix the nearby seat to his liking near to the white line, which being Amber herself.

“You’re hyperventilating.”

This was eventually inevitable, Amber knew that better than anyone else. But that did not serve any purpose of easing up the unexplainable pain that was throbbing like an intruding knock on a wooden horse.

Amber’s breath hitched on spot, “Guess so.”

Hands wide open, desperately needing to cling onto something — something Amber would do had Ryan not ogled on her like a damn owl. “But,”

Ryan continued,
“What if I was?”

Amber matched Ryan’s gaze, “What?”


Amber continued to breathe in a deranged manner, lacklusterly succumbing herself to the feeling of monochrome turning vibrant. Is this it? She thought, remembering vividly of the times flashing through her frontal blurs. It hurts.

It really did, all the while clenching her hands. At one point she felt as though everything came crashing to her; like, physically unable to reach the soft, yet vivid glow. Though everything she had known was set to be freed, she was not. Not when she had struck herself deep enough to end on a constant defeat, one that could never be breezed away.

Every word of Ryan managed to drill a hole in the coffin where the nails are supposed to seep in, but instead these nails are merely some couple of petty contradictory quirks one after another. Being in a small, petite room with no gap to be seen did not help their lost cause either, where almost no one could hear their ramblings.

Ah, so this is how it feels like.

Amber physically refused to sigh, showing no recent reaction to the adjusted environment. She took the armed dilemma into her own hands, that being Ryan’s ever-so kind gesture, for which Amber remained silent for several passing seconds. Meeting him was like listening to a song for the first time and not knowing it would be her favorite, with her resolution steadily getting stronger compared to the autumn wind than ever before.

Needless to say, Amber huffed.

“I guess I’m lucky then.”

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