Category: Personal Essay

This Means War 0 (0)

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, Dil Chahta hai and so many great movies have one significant conclusion — follow your heart. Our heart and instincts are much more reliable than our brain and experience. Technically, that’s true because life doesn’t follow a plan. There is no “ultimate purpose” to fulfill. If we had a path, we could just always know what to follow and when.

The Blue Curtains 0 (0)

My grandmother slipped into oblivion after the death of my grandpa. For hours straight, she used to look out of the window and repeat the same line back and forth. “The flowers seem so wilted. Do they still smell the same?” She used to ask, as if she is stuck in a loophole and can’t find her way back. As the days passed, my memories about grandpa started shrinking.

The Lull in the Conversation 4.9 (26)

I remember being five and thinking about how big the ten-year-old seniors at my school were. They were older, taller, more mature, smarter even. I remember being ten and thinking the same about the 14-year-olds in class 9. I wanted to be in high school, I wanted to be in the student council. I wanted to be older and more important. I remember growing older each year and fantasizing about being even older on my next birthday. And if I’m being perfectly honest, I still do.

Directionless 0 (0)

The word ‘wrong’ has a certain sense of foreboding associated with it. When you find yourself in a ‘wrong’ situation, your hands get clammy, your heart feels like it is sinking and there is this tiny little voice that keeps telling you ‘no’. It is just the way human beings are wired, their bodies starting to react the moment they do something that does not align with their idea of morality. 

Starry Starry Night 0 (0)

As a child of a merchant navy captain, I have spent most of my childhood on a ship, sailing across endless stretches of blue with occasional land in sight. These long journeys meant that alongside a very limited collection of pre-recorded cartoons, few storybooks, and my mother, I only had the company of the serene sound of the ocean, the clear blue sky during the day, and a sky full of stars during the night. Perhaps that is why I derive so much comfort from them, even today. While the ocean had its own charm and effect on me, the stars have played a very distinct role in my life. The above and what lies beyond the above has never ceased to fascinate me, even as a 10-year-old and I doubt there will be a time when I would look up at the sky and won’t be ‘starstruck’ by how unreal it all feels. While every brush with a stargazing experience has been nothing short of magical, two particularly unforgettable experiences made me the person I am today, fascinated and appreciative of the little things that have huge impacts. 

A Night I’ll Never Forget 4.5 (2)

On the night of October 11th 2016, I went through a life-altering experience – something that shook me to the core. I never thought I could ever talk about it but as time passed, I’ve learnt that the only way I could deal with it is if I confront it. It was just 24 hours that I could never get out of my head but to be honest, I hardly remember any of it which is what makes it worse for me. I have spent days, months, and years now trying to piece together every hour of that day but all I have is what others saw and what I felt. It was a journey for me, and I’ll try taking you along with me.