Forgiving Myself

Graphic by Tejal Kawachi

I will begin

by crying until my tears run dry,

picking up the pieces of my heart,

and walking out.

I will be proud of myself

for wearing my heart on my sleeve

and for always taking the leap of faith

And I will forgive myself

for the darkness under my eyes from sleepless nights,

the tear-stained bedsheets,

the meals I skipped,

and the calls from my mother I left unanswered.

Then I will forgive myself

for trying to love someone,

and for trying to fix them

before I tried to love and fix myself

And I will remind myself

that it’s brave to step back,

to let yourself break to build yourself back up,

that my love for myself will never go unreciprocated,

that I can redeem myself

with care,

with patience,

with time,

and with love, that’s just for me.

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