Cold water splashed against the rocks, each time wind blew harder. It seemed as if the night would last forever. I stood there amidst the empty land, my feet numb as soft mud kept silting beneath me. I could hardly differentiate between the night and day because the moon shone brighter than usual. Coming here has become a part of my daily routine now. It has been over 12 years. I miss her. Can you truly miss someone you barely knew? People say pain fades away with time, but I find it hard to agree with them. It consumes me with every breath that I take. One night changed everything, and my life hasn’t been the same ever since.

It was a Monday evening and I had to meet up with a woman for business, the following night. Arriving earlier than mentioned, I decided to wait patiently. Suddenly, I heard the sound of faint footsteps approaching. Quickly turning around, I caught the first glance. What I saw, left me completely awestruck. She was absolutely gorgeous. My eyes ran along her golden locks and hazel brown eyes. Gathering my courage, I walked up to her. Her eyes spoke too much too soon. I could read her like an open diary. Clearing my throat, I said “Uh…. Hi…. Uh I…. need…the…the…”. What was I doing? I had never been so nervous before. I had been doing this all my life. “I think you need the contract papers my husband left back here in India” she said with a smile on her face. I was so deeply involved listening to that beautiful voice, I almost forgot the reason we actually met. “It’s not safe for you to be here on a night so dark and long!” I exclaimed. She gave me a weak, unwilling smile.

I had never seen a woman as royally humble and beautiful as her in my life ever. I’ve been with a number of women in the last 30 years, but she made me speechless. Bold yet naive, strong yet tender. I think I cannot do justice in describing her with my words. Looking at her, someone would easily guess that she’s been through a lot of pain.
She opened her bag to give me the papers and I stood there admiring her presence. It wasn’t just about the appearance; it was about the aura. Maybe it was about everything linked to her. It was certain that I was falling for her. Suddenly my phone rang and the smile on my face disappeared. I was numb. I did not pick up the phone but I knew what it was for. I asked her to hand over the papers to me, and she did but my mind was completely disconnected. I wanted to thank her and leave from there immediately. But I knew I didn’t have a choice. There was no going back after this point. I pulled out the revolver from my overcoat and shot her right on the forehead. I was as pale as the dead corpse lying next to me. I had to do this. It is my job. I had to kill her. I was paid a million dollars to do this job by my boss, her husband. I had heard a lot about her, but only got the chance to understand her just before I killed her. My profession and I can never be on the same page. Never. The guilt has consumed me over the years now. Once in every year I come back to this place, hoping somewhere somehow, I might meet her and apologize to her. Well, that’s not possible practically but I still do hope.

I’m not allowed to fall in love with anyone in this world. Who knows I might have to kill someone I truly love, once again! I guess that’s the curse of being stuck as a villain.