Let’s go back a few years. I had just finished school and was still unsure of what I wanted to do with life. I asked for a gap year to figure it out but was met with, “Fine, we can get you married in that year.” I said nope, picked a college, and tried to mentally prepare myself for what was in store. My perception of college had always been warped thanks to 3 Idiots, where I saw college kids un-alive themselves and attempt the same. That meant, in my head, if I went to college, I would die.
Tag: personal essay
Growing up in Bangalore, I had fallen in love with its starry skies, samosas, delicacies, and celebrating the festivals of Diwali and Holi with loved ones. Even our frustrated bus driver yelling at us every day to not be late strangely delighted me. It took just one day for all of that to change.
The word ‘wrong’ has a certain sense of foreboding associated with it. When you find yourself in a ‘wrong’ situation, your hands get clammy, your heart feels like it is sinking and there is this tiny little voice that keeps telling you ‘no’. It is just the way human beings are wired, their bodies starting to react the moment they do something that does not align with their idea of morality.
Books are immortal; don’t get me wrong, censorship and burning copies were enough to drive certain books to extinction. I mean that once the words are penned down and the idea is shared, they become immortal in the minds of the readers. In a way, books are like people; they are to be loved and cherished.
On the night of October 11th 2016, I went through a life-altering experience – something that shook me to the core. I never thought I could ever talk about it but as time passed, I’ve learnt that the only way I could deal with it is if I confront it. It was just 24 hours that I could never get out of my head but to be honest, I hardly remember any of it which is what makes it worse for me. I have spent days, months, and years now trying to piece together every hour of that day but all I have is what others saw and what I felt. It was a journey for me, and I’ll try taking you along with me.
I sat in a sea of phones; headphones, earphones, phone calls, and reels catching up on the latest soap or a random YouTube video with a cute baby on it; you name it, we’ve got it. The Bengaluru Metro isn’t the Saturday night party space where you meet strangers who turn into friends, here everyone has a purpose. Each person has somewhere to be. Some students, some homemakers, others working professionals, I shared the ladies’ coach with these bright people who, despite coming from different walks of life had one thing in common, their phones.
“What’s the favorite time of your life?”, my friend had asked me out of the blue one day. A question like that really makes you wonder about your life and all the memories you’ve lived through in a very different way. All of a sudden, it’s as if your life is a movie and every moment you’ve ever lived now has double takes of emotions and drama. When I thought of this question with respect to my life, I could remember all the tiny achievements that I’d had when I was a little kid, like the fashion show I participated in dressed as a Malayali girl and how my mother made me learn a Malayalam phrase by heart so that I would get extra points.
Coincidental situations that happen to people can be an exhilarating experience that brings joy and intrigue. Although, what happens when the coincidences just get too much? Any normal person will begin to question their reality. This was the case in an almost fictitious life a friend and I lived, everyday after meeting each other.
I have a younger sister. Completely normal, isn’t it? Everyone (or at least most of us) have a little devil that disrupts our life equation, steals our ice cream, and maintains a firm grip on our new clothes. But my case is rather unique. My graced this earth nine and half years after me. So you can understand what we are like. At the age when I was waiting for the legendary teenage epiphany of the world, my sister was busy making sure she doesn’t divide by a math problem that requires multiplication. Then there was a special situation between us: she was so young that she is like a child I raised myself. Yes, my mom is a working lady and my dad lives in another state, away from home. So it’s two people parenting one another. She’s someone who makes me happier, more open and caring. I, in turn, painted her as me, someone with a very high sense of justice and a fascinating stubbornness. And I could never ask for any better heir for my innate quality, even now all those traits of mine can be seen making an appearance in her now and then.
I believe that memories are like life footages that you get to harbour in your mind and be able to play them on replay, to your heart’s content and, although there are many to share, my favourite one is going to take the main stage with this one. It was a mission to dig up […]